I love Tegan
by let-them-say-what-they-will
Summary: QUINCEST. Tegan had asked Sara to do a little video for their latest project, The Super Close Society. She had asked her to act like a fan putting patches on the jacket, and Sara agreed.


_**A/N**_

_**Thank you to the anon who pointed out that essentially... something went wrong int the copy/paste process...**_

Tegan stood above Sara's small figure as Sara sat cross legged on the couch, adjusting the denim jacket to lie over her legs while picking out the patches she wanted to put on it.

Tegan had asked her to do a little video for their latest project, The Super Close Society. She had asked her to act like a fan putting patches on the jacket, and Sara agreed.

"Ok Tegan, I'm ready..." Sara looked up at Tegan with a shy smile. Tegan looked at her confused for a moment. She didn't know if she felt confused because of the sweetness of the smile her sister was giving her, or for the fact that her heart had skipped a beat at the sight of it.

Either way, after her moment of confusion, she smiled back and nodded her head.

Sara gestured her to point the camera at the jacket, where the patch with Tegan's face on it was lying. Tegan nodded again and started filming with her phone.

"All I wanna get it's... a little bit closer..." Tegan smiled at the sound of her sister's sweet voice singing her song as she adjusted the patch with I LOVE TEGAN written on it just beside the one with her face. When Sara gestured at her work, she looked up again to look at her sister. Sara felt her heart pound in her chest in anticipation of what she wanted to say.

Seeing the movement, Tegan moved the phone up to film her sister's face.

"I love Tegan."

Tegan stopped the video, frozen. It wasn't just the words that had slipped from her sister lips, even though it was quite rare to hear something like that. It was her tone, so sweet as she whispered just barely audibly. It was the slight tremble of her bottom lip. It was because of her eyes, those hazel eyes that were looking directly at her through the lens, and her pupils were so big... and she was feeling so much love radiating from her, Tegan hadn't experienced that in quite some time, at least not that powerfully.

Her breath caught in her throat as heat spread from her neck to her cheeks. She stood still, eyes still staring at the, now black, screen of her phone, as she wondered if her sister's words meant something deeper and more complicated, she wanted it to be that way so desperately, and the thought surprised her. She didn't dare to look at Sara directly, she knew exactly what her face was showing and she couldn't let her sister see her like that, not until she was sure her sister meant something more than sisterly love. It would kill her to see disgust deform Sara's beautiful features.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down but the trembling breath she took betrayed her. She was trying her hardest to think of anything except her sister. But the furious pounding of her heart was making the task impossible.

Her eyes were still closed when she felt cold fingers lightly touch the hand that was still holding the phone. Her sister's hands were maybe cold, but her touch was so gentle and loving.

"Tegan..." Sara whispered.

Sara took Tegan's phone away from her and took her hand again. Tegan didn't move, she didn't even open her eyes. Sara felt her heart fall to her feet. What she was thinking? She should have known that her sister would feel upset. But still, she felt so terribly scared and hurt and sad. Her insides screamed and she tried so hard to fight the tears forming in her eyes.

"T-Tegan..." she called weakly. Her voice trembled as that name she had called more time than any other, left her lips. She tugged lightly at Tegan's hand.

Tegan opened her eyes, and she choked on her breath, and her heart skipped a beat, but this time it wasn't because of the love she would never think to be possible coming from her sister, it was caused by the deep sadness in those beautiful eyes.

"No..." Tegan breathed out.

Sara's chest tightened in fear, she was positive her sister was about to scream, or slap her. Her breath quickened as tears started to fall from her eyes. Her heart was heavy and she thought it would stop in her chest at any moment to let her die. She was hoping to die, it would be better than losing her sister. She let her hand slide away, easing her grip on Tegan's until her hand fell limply onto her own lap.

"No..." Tegan repeated, "Don't..." she choked on her words. It was hard to hold back her guilty tears as she tried to talk.

Tegan fell gently to her knees beside Sara. She reached out one hand and took Sara's hand, holding it between hers. Sara held her breath as she turned to look at Tegan.

"Don't cry Sara," Tegan squeezed her hand, intertwining their fingers as her other hand reached for Sara's cheek, gently wiping her tears away. Sara nuzzled her face into Tegan's palm, searching for comfort in the very thing she was terrified of losing. She closed her eyes, and took a trembling breath.

"I... Tegan, I- I'm..." Sara was trying to find the words... but there was nothing she could say now, "I'm... I'm sorry," she finally said, bending her head down and crying harder.

Tegan let few tears fall from her eyes. She brought her sister's hand to her chest, and held it against the spot where her heart was beating wildly.

Sara snapped her head up, surprised that her sister's heart was mirroring her own. As their eyes met, Tegan smiled shyly. She took her sister's other hand and helped her on her knees, and then she pulled, flushing their bodies together, with Sara's hand trapped between them. With her free hand Sara held a desperate grip on the sleeve of Tegan's shirt.

Tegan's arms wrapped around Sara's thin waist. She held on to Sara's as Sara cried softly into the crook of her neck. Gently trying to sooth her sister, Tegan caressed her back in a slow up and down motion.

Sara's sobs soon subsided. Tegan felt her breath against her neck as Sara pushed her forehead against Tegan's shoulder. Sara didn't know what to do, feeling too shy to look at her sister, and hating feeling that way. She wasn't used to feeling so vulnerable.

Tegan's hands came to stop, resting on Sara's sides. She brought her lips just inches away from Sara's ear.

"Don't be scared, Sasa," she breathed. Sara shivered at the sensation of Tegan's breath against her ear.

Tegan lightly squeezed her sides, and Sara leaned her cheek against Tegan's. Both feeling the heat coming from the other's skin.

Tegan slowly moved away to look at her sister's face. Sara's eyes were a lighter shade than usual, probably because of her crying. And God, she was so beautiful. There was still fear lingering in Sara's eyes, but there was also, what looked like longing. Tegan felt her heart speed up again when she realized how close they were. They were sharing the same air, breathing each other feelings, tasting each other's fears. She didn't want to let the fear take the other emotions away.

She looked at Sara's lips, resting slightly open as she tried to breathe as steadily as possible. They were rosy and plump and, for the first time she thought they looked so inviting. She wanted so badly to kiss those lips, but she wasn't sure if that would have been too much. It was a line she wasn't sure it was safe to cross. She trailed her eyes back to her sister's, and saw Sara's gaze was locked on her lips too. Her eyes had turned darker and her pupils dilated. Tegan's stare snapped back to Sara's lips again, and she felt her breath become erratic as she saw Sara licking them.

Tegan couldn't resist any more and she hesitantly leaned in. When their lips were about to touch, she saw Sara closing her eyes, so Tegan did the same. A moment later, their lips met.

They both felt the spark, the energy traveling between them. They didn't move for a few seconds, but not because they needed to get used to it, it felt right instantly, like their lips were meant for each other; they stayed still because they both still felt shy, afraid of the other's reaction.

But then, Sara started to move slowly against Tegan's lips, with Tegan following her lead. Sara's hand moved from Tegan's chest to rest on her neck, with her thumb caressing along Tegan's jawline.

Tegan pulled her sister's body to her, their hips meeting. Sara pushed her hips against Tegan's and heard her sister moan in response, opening her mouth slightly. Sara took the chance to slip her tongue into Tegan's warm mouth. They kissed slowly, exploring each other, trying to carve every detail in their memories, as this would be the only chance to feel the other in that way.

They broke apart, both of them panting heavily, and Tegan leaned her forehead against Sara's.

"I love you" Sara whispered. They both giggled before Tegan lifted her head, to meet Sara's eyes "I love you so much, Sara."

Sara's eyes watered again, and she threw herself against Tegan, embracing her tightly. She felt so stupid to let her sister see her like that, but there was nothing she could have done about that. Never she had experienced something so powerful, and never she had felt so terrified in all of her life. Tegan hugged her back with just as much force, the same feelings burning into her heart. They started laughing, a little hysterically, due to the rush of emotion they were experiencing.

Tegan helped her sister to her feet and took her by her hand, leading her upstairs. She opened the door to her room and sat Sara gently down on the bed. Sara was breathing heavily, worried that maybe her sister wanted to do something, that, she felt was a little too much, too soon. She'd craved her sister's touch for quite some time, but now she felt scared and was hoping to be able to take things slowly. She looked at Tegan as she pushed her jacket from her shoulders.

Tegan saw Sara's insecurity, and she knew what her twin was feeling because she was feeling it too. She wasn't unsure about her feelings, she just didn't think they needed to rush things. Just few minutes ago she was scared to just taste her sister lips, and if something more were to happen, she wanted it to happen without any fear or confusion. What she wanted right now was to lay down with the comforting heat of her sister surrounding her, succumb to exhaustion between her sister's arms.

Tegan put Sara's jacket on the dresser and went back to kneel at Sara's feet, where she began to remove her shoes. Sara watched her sister take care of her, sweetly than anyone else ever had before, and she felt herself blush immediately. She was so independent and a natural leader, and now she was letting her sister take care of her like that, and the weirdest things was that she wanted her sister to do that so hopelessly that, in a normal state of mind, she would have felt embarrassed. When Tegan finished, she turned her gaze to Sara's rosy face, and smiled shyly.

Tegan put the shoes away and lifted her sister's legs to help her lie down. Then she went to the other side of the bed, with Sara watching her every move as she put away her own shoes. She took a moment to look at Sara before standing from the bed, getting a comforter from the closet and coming back just to fling it over her twin. Sara's soft giggles were heard from under the fluffy material that now covered her from head to toe. Tegan laughed as Sara peeked her head out from the covers and patted the spot beside her.

Tegan smiled and joined her sister under the covers. They lay facing the ceiling for a couple of minutes. Their hands occasional brushing, making each of their hearts skip a beat. Then Tegan turned to her side.

"Turn..." she commanded softly. Sara looked at her for a moment, and Tegan just nodded her head and smiled.

Sara turned, so that her back was facing Tegan. She knew what Tegan wanted to do, but still, a sigh of contentment escaped her lips as soon as her sister's arm wrapped around her. She pushed her body further into Tegan's, wanting to feel every part of their bodies connected, and then intertwined their fingers and brought their tangled hands up to her chest.

She was starting to drift off to sleep when she heard her sister's voice.

"I think I'll put that video on Instagram."

"What? No, Tegan..." Sara started to panic but Tegan squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"Hey, hey... shhhh..." Tegan whispered, soothingly.

"Tegan, I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?" Tegan questioned, even though she knew exactly what Sara was worried about.

"Maybe... I think... maybe it was... a little too much," as Sara struggled for words she felt Tegan's body shake with muffled laughter.

"I mean, just look at the effect it had on you," Sara added with a giggle, feeling Tegan gently squeeze her body again.

After a couple of minutes, Sara spoke again.

"Seriously Tegan... I mean... people could... have strange thoughts."

"I mean..." she added quickly, she didn't want Tegan to think _they_ were strange.

But just that was enough to bring the reality of the situation to her and her heart ached, how could they be... _them_?

"Sara... there's a lot of people out there that already think about us like that... and this will not change the minds of the people who don't even want to think about the possibility... so..." Sara cut her off before she had the chance to continue.

"So there's no need to publish it."

"Sara... this is the happiest, best thing that's ever happened to me... I want to share it with everyone... I don't care if they think you love me as a sister, or as something more... I want... I just want people to know how lucky I am to have you, even if it's just as a sister." Tegan whispered directly in her sister's ear, making Sara shiver as Tegan hugged her even tighter.

"You're the sweetest woman on the planet, I want to show that to everyone... I am so lucky to have you, really..." she breathed out.

Sara brought Tegan's hand to her mouth and place a kiss to her knuckles. Tegan smiled, and started to caress Sara's neck with her nose. She took a deep breath, inhaling her sister's sweet scent while Sara giggled, trying to hide the shivers the contact was giving her.

"What?" Tegan said, her voice sounded a little sleepy, and Sara thought that maybe she felt exhausted as she was.

"Nothing, it just... tickles..." she said, giggling again.

Tegan squeezed their bodies together, and kissed the nape of Sara's neck, lightly. She kissed every inch of Sara's exposed skin and then kissed her hair. She smiled in Sara's hair as she felt her sister's heart quicken with the hand Sara was pushing against her chest again.

"I love Sara" she whispered, smiling again at the hammering beat of Sara's heart.


End file.
